I just have to post this, very funny... The way to treat your lady...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by login, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. #1
    Its from a blog: www.pissedoffjt.com

    My girlfriend and I are close, well as close as I could ever be to someone who wants to wear matching shirts, but overall she is okay. The other day though she really touched a nerve. We ate at a fast food place, which the odds of actually consuming a meal without being infected and/or injected with (pick one or all) salmonella, feces, or plain fucking spit and dirt, is about the same as my scoring with Pamela Anderson. Well after this Kamikaze virus journey she throws away her drink and then a few minutes later wants to drink from my cup. What the fuck? I already have more germs in me than that monkey in the movie 'Outbreak' and she just wants to add to the tally. Why, just because you sleep with someone, do you have to share a fricking drink? Sure I kiss her but I figure it is just something I have to do to get laid. Sharing a drink doesn't, in anyway, lead to getting laid (unless it is a drink with Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan and believe me, if I fucked either of them I would have more protection on me than those guys who cleaned up Chernobyl. So I tell my chick "No!" Well this leads to more hard feeling than the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Supposedly I don't love her because I won't share my damn drink. Realizing I have as much of a chance winning this 'test of wills' battle as President Bush does of becoming a Mensa member, I take a huge gulp of the drink and tell her to "enjoy!" She giddily smiles. Probably happier about "winning" than actually satiating her thirst but what the hell. Of course I never told her I backwashed into the drink before she enjoyed it. A evil relationship pleasure I guess, but whatever. I think I need to date a girl in a plastic bubble, because I don't need any more fucking germs!
     
    login, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  2. w3bmaster

    w3bmaster Notable Member

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    #2
    Who ever write thaat is just insane ..... and stupid
     
    w3bmaster, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  3. Ippe

    Ippe Peon

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    #3
    Tries too hard to be funny. Some people can make banal scenarios funny, some can't.
     
    Ippe, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  4. Angelus

    Angelus Well-Known Member

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    #4
    Some parts are funny :). The whole sotry makes me laugh because I didn't like to share icecram with my girlfriends couple of years ago but today it is perfectly normal...

    p.l.u.r.
     
    Angelus, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  5. Dudibob

    Dudibob Peon

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    #5
    not fussed about sharing stuff with people, but that guy sounds a bit paranoid about germs :(
     
    Dudibob, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  6. lpstong

    lpstong Notable Member

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    #6
    Ok for starters....You wont let her drink from her cup. But you are willing to shove your tongue down her throat and tickle her tonsils.

    And on the other hand, you stated you have to get laid, so you have to kiss her(sounds gay - jk) But if you are getting laid by her. I am sure you want her to place her lips on other areas of your body. And yet you still want to kiss her and not share the same cup. On the other hand Dude, "where has your lips been lately, other than on her?" Drinking fountains etc..............


    To me let her do it. As long as she doesn't slurp and burp. Or leave floaties in your drink. Or a cold.

    Or would I say this is a promo for his blog. Since this thread/post is pretty much a dup of his on his blog.
     
    lpstong, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  7. login

    login Notable Member

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    #7
    Its not a promo for the blog. I found the blog at stumbleupon. I just think its an incredible funny post. To post it without giving credit would have been bad.
     
    login, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  8. matt-baker

    matt-baker Guest

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    #8
    Okay, so where's the punchline?
     
    matt-baker, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  9. lpstong

    lpstong Notable Member

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    #9
    Ok so its not your blog ok. Just thought it was.....Sorry
     
    lpstong, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  10. login

    login Notable Member

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    #10
    Dont you think its funny ?
     
    login, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  11. JayTee

    JayTee Peon

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    #11
    That would be my blog. Glad you like it :D

    And to the others that didn't like it, you can't please everyone :(

    I could rationalize my reasons for not wanting to share my drinks (or even food) but I'll just leave it as is, you either like sharing or don't.
     
    JayTee, Jan 24, 2007 IP
  12. jdR!pper

    jdR!pper Peon

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    #12
    I don't think it's funny at all. I think it's very shallow that you date a girl just because you want to get laid. What a dork!
     
    jdR!pper, Jan 24, 2007 IP