have a question : To forgive someone do you have to forget what they did to you??? And what if you cannot forget?????? How do you overcome it???? I need answers from all of you!!!
WOW that's a deep question! The saying goes, to err is human, to forgive is divine. As humans I dont think we can really forget something someone did, nor should we IMO. We learn by our mistakes, and, whilst it is possible to put asside a difference or an argument, or the actions of a person, I don't think it is possible to forget it. If it was, when a pain of loss hit us we wold simply put that pain out of our mind. All you can do is not let the past actions ruin a future of a relantionship, IMO that is the best you can hope for.
Just depends on if the person could ever be trusted again, most can not. One of my best friends got stung out on ________, when he needed another ______, a good way to get one was to start breaking into his bosses office and steal the company computers. I was his boss, it happened twice in two years, not only did he and his friends steal my stuff but broke into my partners office and stole his main computer, if he would not have had tape backups they could have ruined his entire business. So maybe you can forgive someone a bit, but complete forgiveness is hard because you have to be able to trust someone for that. It is funny that my old childhood friend still calls 5 years later asking if I NEED HELP? Yea I need help, help staying away from him and his entire group of friends. If your childhood friends rip you off, what does the rest of the world have in store for you? With friends like that, who needs enemies? I know, you heard that one before.....
I'd say you should try and remember it. Even when you did forgive him/her then at least you can convert it into knowledge and be better off next time. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.
see the problem is when the person continuously does the hurting again and again but due to circumstances, you have to be around them. Then the fights ensue and in the end I think the person who has cause the hurt behave nonchalant., where as the hurt party is seething!!!! Now the hurt party knows in the heart of their heart that they can't stoop down to the other person's level and hence the question answer with the conscience-who should be the better person??? You know the answer but it is still difficult to forget!!! Doesn't forgiving also means that you have to forget too!!! I guess you have to be a bigger person in your heart and soul to do the forgetting.
Forgive, unless there is something wrong with your brain/memory. But it doesn't necessarily have to be one or the other. How about just live with it and get with it?
I don't think you have to forget to forgive. If so, I'm screwed as I know way to many people who remember EVERYTHING.
i would like to share one incidence of my life with all of you... in my past life..i have one best friend. we used to share all the things,,,ya very deep friendship.. after 3 yr of our friendship..one day we arrange a party at night in that we also invited some other friends...we had brought whisky, beer and the dinner for night... after drinking the whisky we all friends sat together for dinner..that time my best friends had taken more drink so he was not in good condition..... Suddenly my best friend tell me to share the name of one girl to whom he love but he afraid of telling the name of her to me.. then my next friend said the girl is ur sister...so i got angry and i slapped to my best friend and left the place immediately... then lot of force made by my other friends to bring us together...finally after 4 months we meet again...and after that our friendship is running on well.... but you know after 4 month the relationship is not the same as before....i try lot to forget that incidence but i can't.... I try lot to forgive him but i don't know after that i feel like i lost my best friend....
see....here thing is not anything good or bad thing in my friend...but the important point is the time.... i mean the time he choose to tell me that thing...at that time we all were drunk.. if my best friend had choosen some other time in which we both were alone then probably i could tell him to give some time to think....
Well, it simply shows you that your friend is so respectful of you that it requires his conscious inhibitions to be cmopletely removed before he could admit it to your face. However, I guess the biggest question really is - can your friend forgive you? Obviously the fact that you disrespect your friend so much - that he is not even worthy enough to consider your sister as attractive - has to be pretty insulting.
yes, it was not good time at all for me or for my friend... you know..it was first time when someone made proposal for my sister...so it might be possible that my reaction was not good enough.. but tell me your view..i mean what all you will do if you face the same situation...
Sounds like you chased your future brother in law away to me. So what the guy loved your sister, you can't hold that against the man, he should be the one forgiving you man, you should go make up with him
I think you are right....i was very hard with my friend... but first give me answer for "what all you will do if you face the same situation"..?
In the same situation? Allow my sister to make her own decisions, her own mistakes, her own successes - and simply stand by her whenever she needed me. Btw - we are presuming that your sister is a grown-up, and not a mnior.
but how can you so confident for others decision...as i am elder than her i know what is right and what is wrong for her... sorry if i become very arrogant..but i can not see her sad at point of time in future..
If you don't trust the guy, why keep him as your friend, tell him to get lost or you will slap him again. Tell your sister to go back to school, get an education and marry a doctor.
cool dude... To slap anyone is not the final solution..that was my mistake...the shame thing of my life...
Man, you are making too big a deal out of nothing, you are losing interest, you can only hold folks on a webmaster forum on a subject so long. They lose interest in sensational issues fast, let alone you slapping your best friend because he liked your sister. Just forget about it and move on with your life, call your friend on the phone and buy him lunch and simply tell him you are sorry, then invite him back for dinner with you and your sister. If she likes the guy as a friend, let them talk, he is too young to marry your sister anyway, right, your sister is not ready to get married, right. We can not solve your problem on a webmaster forum, we are all trying to help you as much as possible, you need to move on in life and on the forum. OK