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Guilt, do you have any?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Spoiltdiva, Nov 15, 2020.

  1. #1
    I believe that guilt is one of the most useless sentiments of all. What possible good is it? It can weigh you down with self doubts and regrets. The only positive I suppose, is that at least it demonstrates that you possess a conscience.

    I do have guilt in regards to things that have happened from my past. The reality is that probably very little could have been different. After all I was by no means the only player in the dramas that unfolded.
    Hindsight is always 20/20 and I did the best I could under the circumstances. Was I a bit short sighted back then? Perhaps, and in the light of what happened I may have altered my decisions.

    I have learnt in time to forgive myself and to move on. How about you, any guilt issues?
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2020
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 15, 2020 IP
    Ayoub benali01 likes this.
  2. Ayoub benali01

    Ayoub benali01 Active Member

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    #2
    I totally agree, the sentence you've written summarises my belief. We're already surrounded by negativity, so what the point of adding more negative things to our lives? I've learnt to be grateful for every moment in my life, either in the past or in the present or future. I've never regretted something in my life.
    One thing I want to add is that guilt is necessary at some times if someone killed another one, for example, I think guilt is necessary for such a ferocious deed. If the killer didn't feel he will continue with crimes, nevertheless, until he 100% de-humanize himself.
     
    Ayoub benali01, Nov 16, 2020 IP
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  3. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #3
    ^^^I am beginning to have a lot of respect for you. I am glad that you joined DP.:)
     
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 16, 2020 IP
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  4. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #4
    I've been reading a bit about guilt and shame.

    Guilt is avoidable. Know in your heart that your decisions are made with the best available information and with the best of intentions and you'll be ok. Even if things go bad you'll know you did all you could.

    Shame is different, the same event can cause shame to one person but only anger or sadness to another. It takes a lot of personal work to manage shame and take it's power away.
     
    sarahk, Nov 16, 2020 IP
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  5. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #5
    My goodness, we really do have our share of deep thinkers on this site.....very cool!:)
     
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 16, 2020 IP
  6. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #6
    I cannot think of any guilt that I have had or felt (other than temporary, nonsense stuff like cheating on my diet.) Do I have regrets, however? Yes, I do in terms of paths not chosen, efforts not made, other less than stellar choices over the years, etc. But said regrets are not something that I focus on or even much care about as the past cannot be changed and it is not clear that I would have done things differently, anyway. In fact, I would modify the cliché, "The best revenge is living well" to "The best way to not regret is living well" as a motto.

    Mostly, I seem to always be looking forward to the next challenge or opportunity as I have learned that the past is the past and cannot be changed. My personal challenge, I suppose, is to live in and enjoy the present moment instead of focusing on the future. Example: I probably get the most pleasure from anticipation. Right now, I am eagerly anticipating the good food that will come with our Thanksgiving holiday next week. I will enjoy said anticipation right up until the actual day. On the day, the food will be great and I will enjoy it, but it will never live up to the anticipation I had running up to it. :)
     
    jrbiz, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  7. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #7
    We can make changes based on our past experiences. The greatest of all these changes is the evolutionary decision to become a better human being.
     
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  8. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #8
    "Better human being," much like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder, of course. ;)
     
    jrbiz, Nov 17, 2020 IP
  9. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #9
    Awhile ago I bought into your Pack Special promo that you had back in August. The deal was that if we bought a 12 pack of your tinfoil hats we would get a free pair of rose colored glasses. Now that I have them, EVERYTHING looks beautiful!:D
     
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  10. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #10
    Not to get too far off track, but your post above made me realize that with your new glasses, you are a "glass half full" kind of gal, which reminded of the following joke:

    The optimist sees the glass as half full
    The pessimist sees the glass as half empty
    The engineer sees the glass as being poorly designed
    The sales rep sees the glass as an opportunity to sell the benefits of ice
     
    jrbiz, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  11. Ayoub benali01

    Ayoub benali01 Active Member

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    #11
    Much of respect to you too, happy to know you :)
     
    Ayoub benali01, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  12. fencerstars

    fencerstars Greenhorn

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    #12
    Indeed, guilt can weigh us down at all times (that it wasn't the best sentiments we get), but the difference is the reason why we have acquired that guilt. Like Mr. Ayoub said, guilt can take a toll on most humans no matter how small was the wrong deed made, but there are criminals who enjoy doing bad things that they deserve to feel guilty for what they do, else the crime will just continue to exist forever.
     
    fencerstars, Nov 17, 2020 IP
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  13. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #13
    Point well taken, but I am assuming that 99.9% of our membership are normal and not of a criminal element. It is to them I pose the question.:)
     
    Spoiltdiva, Nov 17, 2020 IP
  14. fencerstars

    fencerstars Greenhorn

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    #14
    Yes! That guilt taught me a huge lesson. Besides I dont know anyone who hasn't feel guilty of something in their entire life. A robot maybe :)
     
    fencerstars, Dec 15, 2020 IP
  15. Stock broker

    Stock broker Greenhorn

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    #15
    Click bank promotion equal guilt for me, I don't do it.
     
    Stock broker, Dec 16, 2020 IP
  16. Pipiripi

    Pipiripi Greenhorn

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    #16
    Not anymore, I have given all to Jesus Christ the Son of the living God.
     
    Pipiripi, Mar 14, 2021 IP
  17. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #17
    How I would dearly love to debate that with you. But I cannot by virtue of the fact that if I did, then this thread would be transferred directly into the pit of the P&R forum.

    The Politics & Religion forum is DP's version of hell.;)
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2021
    Spoiltdiva, Mar 14, 2021 IP
  18. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    #18
    Sometimes holding onto that guilt is necessary to stop you from repeating your actions. I'm not sure that wiping the slate clean is healthy.
     
    sarahk, Mar 14, 2021 IP
  19. Swordmaster

    Swordmaster Active Member

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    #19
    Guilt is Ok as long as it helps you stop on your tracks if you were doing something wrong and help you remedy it immediately. It is not given to eat you up all your life. It's a signal to fix your wrong ways and turn to the right way. Do not do what you believe is wrong and do only what you believe is right, and your conscience will be always clean.
     
    Swordmaster, Apr 10, 2021 IP
  20. mytechiestuff

    mytechiestuff Well-Known Member

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    #20
    Our actions are of course our responsibility and the consequences are therefore also in our lap.
    However, our actions are normally dictated by the conditions that exist around us, so it is governed by the world that we are in.

    Free will is not always as free as it is supposed to be in theory.
    For an example, a blind and deaf person in a third world country has limited options, inspite of the supposed free will.

    So we all act within our limited world of options, though we all have an illusion of total freedom.

    Regrets are necessary, because it is by living through the consequences of our actions that we improve ourselves.
    The pain of guilt is counterproductive and can potentially result in permanent damage.

    So to put it in a nutshell, regrets are inevitable and useful.
    The pain of guilt is optional and can be very destructive.
     
    mytechiestuff, Apr 10, 2021 IP