Have any of you guys ever tried to win your ex-girlfriend back, who may have recently (or awhile back even) broken up with you for whatever reasons? I'm in that position right now, and was wondering if you guys had tips or any advice on this matter? To provide a little more background information, we've been together for 3 and a half years, I'm 25 and she's 24, we both work in the same industry but in sister companies. Our relationship has always been good, with the exception that we can both be a little stubborn at times. She broke up with me about a week back, over a big argument we had and hasn't given me the time of day since. Here's what happened: She's recently been very into settling down and getting married (because a few of our friends tied the knot last year) and brought it up that evening. I'm all for marriage and settling down, but I felt that I had only just started out with my career and wasn't ready yet. She misunderstood my intentions and took my not being 'ready' as me still wanting to have fun, flirt or sleep around, and flipped at me. Admittedly, we were both at fault here. I got defensive at her accusations, and she refused to listen when I tried to explain myself. In the end, she said that we were over, and left. Since then, she's been completely ignoring me and even blocked me off social media. Despite whatever that has happened, I still do love her and want to be with her. I DO want to settle down and get married to her, but she won't even reply me, or rather she's blocked me off. What do you guys think I should do?
I think it is a bad idea, and I would never try to win her back. It is a much better solution to start a new love relationship with a new girl. I had a bad experience with ex-girlfriends and would always avoid to win them back. However, if you really love her, then you should ask her after some time. Explain your situation and feelings, and if she feels the same she will accept your offer.
I saw this in one of the threads: If that's what you want in a girlfriend you are lucky she stayed with you for as long as she did. The breakup happened not because of that argument, it happened because she wanted out. Seems to me.
Go to her house, ask to speak to her, take flowers or whatever, it's corny but you need to grovel Talk to her parents, ask them to put in a good word for you If you get her back, you need to talk about the deep stuff more often. Long before my husband proposed we'd had talks about our future, our expectations around kids, lifestyle, the country we'd settle in. I'm guessing these conversations haven't been happening.
What I glean from the OP is that she had already decided to end the relationship and was merely looking for a reason to make it happen. It obviously didn't take much.
Women can be very strange to handle. I can see the people above offering the advice of "shes moved on so should you". Now if you love her this is not what you should do. Winning her back is a trick, think of how you got her to go out with you in the first place. It's a trick/ploy to show her how nice you can be etc... If she won't answer you then 1st off you need to send her flowers. It's cheesy and corny but it needs to be done and publically. Send them to her work in plain view of everyone. Let her know on the card you're ready to settle down etc... But make this display very public and massive. A few quid on flowers should be nothing for the girl you love!
It's been a week. You don't get over a relationship that has encompassed your entire adult life in a week.
Meh, she sounds unreasonable. Not listening to what he had to say and then ignoring him. Pretty childish if you ask me. That's how I see it too. Girls always have so many options. Once they've decided it's not going to work out they're already seeing someone else.
and that would explain why men rebound from divorce way earlier than women, right? you do realise that not all women are "10s", if you're further down the pecking order your "options" disappear pretty damn quickly.
Lol that's not true at all Sarah. Girls get to choose guys who are higher up in the pecking order. 5/10s will have no problem getting guys who are 7/10s. The same is not true for guys unless they have a lot of money. In this modern age of social media, the amount of options that girls have these days is endless.
This is also not true, it's not all about money. There is a phrase I use "you can laugh a girl into bed" I'm down the pecking order and I know it, yet I've had girlfriends who are much higher up than me. Being a nice guy and saying the right things can get you a lot of brownie points. If you look perfect and you're a tool then you get nowhere. Sarahk girls have a shot of everything, a lot of men would fancy a girl from 5/10 right up to 10/10 and sleep with/marry them all too!
Trick her into coming back??? That's an interesting approach. Maybe part of why she left in the first place is because she figured out that he tricked her to begin with. Just saying.
Thank you for the answers everyone. I spoke to her again and she still seems adamant to stay broken up. I've tried to convince her but she won't bulge. A lot of what you guys made sense (I mean the serious replies). I've been doing some reading and I came across an article that says I should wait at least 30 days before trying to contact her. I've decided to give her some space for now. Don't know if I'll really win her back back or I'd have to move on. I am hoping for the best.
So, two weeks later and she is not willing to discuss getting back together...for your own sanity, go out and find another nice girl and forget about this one for now. If she regrets her choice in a few weeks or months, she may reach out to you. If not, you, hopefully, will be well on your way to replacing her, anyway. And, if she does get back to you and you have other options, you might decide that you do not want to get back with her. You might be just one date away from finding someone better. The worst thing that you can do at this point is to obsess over her, calculate the best time or way to win her back, etc. Start dating others immediately to help forget this one.
I think you should clarify for yourself: do you want to settle and marry in order to win her back or that was the intention you had before but during the conversation you were too frightened to accept that? That's the key: do you really want THAT girl back (in that case be ready to provide what she asks for, she seems serious about her intentions) or you are just used to her and aren't ready to undertake serious actions.
Invent a time machine. Go back in time and don't do whatever you did wrong. Yes, I'm assuming it was your fault or you caused a loss of attraction in your partner. I wish I had a time machine.
In my perspective, the only way to justify a comeback is if it was inevitable to break up, (any of you had to move to another country for example), but if you break up because someone lost interest in the relationship or found another one, i wouldn't recommend then