Hey Denise Apologies for the idea of you being ignorant; I wasn't trying to impose that you were, nor did I mean it in a sense of being independant, but the idea of needing someone (I re-read what I said and I could have phrased that alot better) That someone doesn't have to be a man; your husband etc. It can be your friend, family, aquaintance. Everyone needs someone to be completely happy. In my opinion (and this is completely my opinion), you need atleast 1 person be hole. Whether it be your best friend, your husband, or your neighbor that you hangout with on saturdays. That right their is what makes life worth living! I could have all the toys in the world, all the games, all the movies, and the best cars. But you know what? Without having someone to share it with [to those not paying attention; doesn't have to be ones mate] makes it all pointless. Of course, this is why each of us have our own opinions though. Yeah; I like this in you alot. You don't worry about the end. Life is here; it is now, not later. You can also accept what comes at you because you understand life. This I have no question of at all. Aye, I am glad you atleast see both sides of the situation. I have a rule that I follow. For every man their is a woman, and every woman their is a man. Simple as that. I cannot simply say all (or most) women are whores. I would have to change that to men & women. Sadly, it is true. Every once in a great while though; a man and a women who actually have decency and respect for each other make it all the way through and find each other. This doesn't happen enough though ... Yes they are They expect the "maintaince" of the woman and the idea of the women taking care of them. An eye for an eye so to speak. The day I find someone like you is the day I stop looking for a girl, period. Something that drives me absolutely insane is the idea of someone being clung to me 24/7. Don't get me wrong, when I am in a relationship I am very much in love with that person. I love touching, snuggling, feeling etc., but I do not like someone being on top of me 24/7. I mean things like just getting home from work, walking in the door and being baraged with a ton of questions and myself not really caring one way or the other, then the person comes and basically sits on top of me and all I want to do is relax. Is it really so much to ask? Aparently! Though if I say something about it I am now an evil asshole who doesn't love her anymore. lol, crazy stuff. It makes me laugh. I simply want a girl who can take care of herself and actually make decisions on her own without asking a million questions. A rare find indeed. Thoughts?
They weren't amazing at all. I caught onto the lying early on, and all that time was absolutely miserable. Eventually we stayed together out of convenience until I finally got rid of him. I'd been trying to get him to move out repeatedly for about the last two years, and had called off the wedding long before that. I won't get into the details, b/c it's absolutely more complicated than it ever should have been, but no... he wasn't amazing. Lying destroyed anything good that was there in the first place. And any guy that would spew out some of those lines you said wouldn't get a second look from me. I'm not half as naive as you seem to think women are. I was an idiot for staying... but it had nothing to do with not knowing he was a liar. More than anything, I think I felt sorry for him. There's only one man I've met that I'd call "too good to be true", and he's far from perfect. I don't put him on a pedestal. He doesnt' pretend to be perfect. We could fight for hours over anything from religion to politics to some other simple disagreement. But the reason he's so "good" is that he used them to challenge me to think from different perspectives and vice versa, and in the end we could be comfortable arguing even passionately, b/c we knew we could talk out pretty much anything and we were stronger for it in the end. He didn't feed me BS lines like those, he offended me often enough as I did to him, etc., but he understood that things aren't supposed to be "perfect" and that you have to work for anything good (as do I), and it was a really amazing dynamic. I only hope I'm lucky enough to find that again in my lifetime, and I don't have these convoluded ideas of a perfect man or prince charming. If a guy has to turn on the charm that much, he's not sincere... and sincerity matters so much more than "pretty words". "you all are young, you have a lot to learn...." that's not a lie if they're really young. Just because you toned down your language doesn't make it a lie. A lie would have been telling them they were wonderful or perfect or couldn't have done it better. I've been more motivated by people who offer honest constructive criticism than by people who simply tell me I'm wonderful at what I do... especially when I was in any kind of learning environment. Honesty helps you learn from mistakes and become better. Learning comes from failures. You need to recognize them, and people hiding them from you with lies doesn't help in the long run. They'll just keep putting in similar effort and find out they suck later in life when it's much harder to go back and fix their original mistakes.
Denise, I could see that very easily coming out of my mouth 7 years ago. I wasn't kidding in the other forum... sometimes the things you say are just so eerily familiar. lol
I understand. Perhaps you are right about everyone needing one person in their life, be it a mate, friend, relative, whatever, in order to be happy.. that makes me wonder about the people who choose to be hermits and live off in the woods, secluded from the rest of society, though . No, I don't worry about the end -- what's the point? If you're going to spend your entire life worrying about what happens next, you aren't living in my opinion. Oh, and as I've said before -- the day a man expects me to take care of his needs completely is the day he realizes he was with the wrong woman I'm not saying I wouldn't be happy to take care of someone I loved and was in a committed relationship with; but I wouldn't give up my independence for a man in order to be home, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, etc. etc. etc. Haha, be careful what you wish for about finding a girl like me... it might come true! Spending quality time with your significant other is an important part of nurturing the relationship. Spending so much time with one another that you are practically attached at the hip is NOT healthy. There has to be an equal balance between togetherness and time where the two of you can each do your own things apart from one another.
Your signature says you are in PR ( public relations and not page rank for webmasters ) . Now when I judge an event, it might be in the best interest of the participant that I tell him everything that is wrong. But what if I dont want to be the bad guy. I want to hold the reputation of my company. I want that people love me and my company. If i go hard on them, they will be better the next time, at the cost of me being the bad guy. Of all the people, if you are in PR, you would know Had I given an honest critical evaluation, things might have turned out messy. They wouldnt like me because I pointed out all the obvious mistakes. Because I did not go hard on them, they are able to sleep properly tonite. Every girl knows she is not miss world. But if you treat her as if she is, and lie to her that she really is *your* miss world, she will fall for it 99 % of the time.
Denise, are you kidding? You make me feel ancient! lol First of all, a judge shouldn't be concerned with PR issues. They should be concerned with "judging", and to be able to place judgement on someone, you need to be honest. Also, as far as PR goes, I'm well aware of the "spin doctor" image we get, where people assume all we do lie or "color the truth" to protect an image. In reality, the best PR moves in history have been founded on total honesty and accountability (from Tylenol's voluntary nationwide recall when it was unnecessary, to Pepsi opening up their canning process and facilities to protect their reputation and prove it was impossible for a syringe to get into a can there). Most of us don't live up to that negative reputation, and personally I hold my work to a high ethical standard, and turn down projects regularly that conflict with that. I'm not saying men do all the lying. Heck, how many women fake an orgasm or tell a guy how "big" he is, just to make him think he's better than he is? lol Still a lie. So this isn't a "lying man" thing; it's lying in general. And I don't buy for a second that people (or in your example, women) fall for lies 99% of the time... unless you associated with women who have an IQ less than their shoe size. If honesty can come in a pretty package, then put it in one... that's sensitivity. If not, blunt honesty, even if it upsets someone, is better than a lie any day imo.
I am going on 23 here in March. With that being said, I still have my hole life ahead of me! Sure their have been bad things in the past, and I am more then sure their are more to come! I say bring them on! What fun would life be it was all so "perfect" all the time??? Would be quite boring IMO...
I don't think anyone can expect "perfection", but they should certainly be able to expect honesty, loyalty, and respect... at least as long as they're also willing to give it. It can be far from boring.
Honesty, loyalty and respect -- that is all I ask for, all I've ever asked for. If someone isn't prepared or willing to give me that, then they are G-O-N-E. Now, Kartik, I don't know what kind of women you associate with, but I can guarantee you that Jenn and I are two women that do NOT fall for lies 99 percent of the time... as a matter of fact, I can tell pretty much right away when a guy is feeding me a bunch of bullshit.
Wrong. I was asked to be the judge because I represent a company they highly think of. I have to be sure not to screw that image by hurting the participants with blunt statements about their below average performance. Now, when you talk about IQ, there is a EQ you have totally ignored. When a women trusts someone, she trusts them blindly. You have a high IQ IMO, but still you cannot justify your staying with your past relation thingy guy. It isnt about IQ, its about EQ.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Honestly, I wonder if you're actually serious or just messing with all of us, Kartik. When a woman trusts someone, she trusts them blindly? You are so completely off base, it's not even funny. I, for one, do not trust just anybody. They have to prove to me that they are trustworthy to begin with, and it takes quite a bit for me to open myself up enough to allow full and complete trust in someone. You are an example of a person I'd automatically distrust in a moment, Kartik, because all you do is lie to a woman because you think that's what she "wants" to hear.
It really is to bad I don't live in Cali :grin: I think we would get along very well. This is all I really ask for too. What kills me the most is when you know people are lying, and they just keep going!! heh heh... it cracks me up. I'm sitting their listening to them, then flip it around on them and catch them in the lie. Mission accomplished, heh. To much fun. Unfortunately, I have the outlook on anyone I meet (male or female) that they are lying from the get go until proven otherwise.
No. Then you should be smart enough to just keep your mouth shut. You don't lie that way, and don't have to be rude. You rate them, rank them, etc. You do your job and you go. If you can't do that w/o being honest (and I really don't see the example you gave as being dishonest in the first place), then you step aside and let someone else do it. You also should know exactly what's expected of you before agreeing to serve as a judge - if they want commentary versus just choosing a "winner" or sorts, then you need to make it known that you'll be tactful, but honest, and won't lie. Honesty doesn't have to hurt... you just need more practice telling the truth I think to realize that. I can justify it very well. I know what my reasons were. I know it was a stupid choice, but it's one I own up to and learned from. Just because I don't choose to justify something that personal in a public forum or to a complete stranger doesn't mean that I can't justify a choice. I can justify every choice I make... or I don't make it. I don't make my choices in life lightly. Any way you want to spin it or label it, it's about not being a complete and total moron who's too stupid to tell when someone you're supposedly close to is lying to you. If those are the kinds of women that you tend to surround yourself with (guys who like to lie usually do - which isn't an insult; just taken from your own admissions), then I can see where the dilusion is coming from. It doesn't make it any more of a factual representation of women in general though... especially not to say 99% fall for it.
Just making the discussing interesting. I'm not talking about just anybody. When you are in a relationship and you are as honest as you claim to be, Im sure you are going to trust that guy and expect the same frm him . Blind trust. You havent even met me dear .
Hah, there's another thing we have in common. I feel the same way about almost everyone, and very few people have actually managed to gain my complete trust.
I don't need to meet you to understand from your own words in this forum that we wouldn't get along. I wouldn't fall for your BS, and you'd be upset because I was one woman you wouldn't be able to lie to