Hey, I'd love to know whether this sales copy is good or bad? http://www.copywritingboard.com/showthread.php?1893-Can-you-tell-me-if-this-copy-is-good-or-not&p=15407#post15407 Thanks.
It's not good. The text copy does not have a smooth flow to it. It fails to keep my interest. It fails to strike any emotion or impulse other than wanting to exit the page. BTW... why did you link this post to another forum with the post that has the link you want people to read? Why not just link directly to the text copy from your post here?
Oooops, the direct link is here: http://seducehotwomen.com/ That was an accident. Tried to edit my post but can't seem to do it.
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Hey: my first thought was - without even seeing the article: Does it convince you? One thing occurs to me, and it might occur to you too after you've put 'Ideal sentence length' into your favorite search engine. I do find I'm holding my breath a bit after I've started reading some of the sentences. Hope that helps, in some way.
Irritating and amateurish and waaaaaaaaay too long. (post #4) What's with the spacing between each sentence, did your spacing bar become stuck? It's not natural and has an artificial flow to it. I'd scrap the entire thing and place it in the garbage bin. Hate to be rude but are you 16 years old and just starting out?
I'm sorry I didn't see the corrected version. It's just my habit not to look at other critiques before I give mine. Testimonials are needed before you ask anyone to pay money. I would certainly need to see some - good ones preferably!
I took a look at this copy. it's not bad, really. I think it does need a little grammatical and spell checking. T he subject matter is compelling and i think the flow of capturing interest and moving toward the offer is bnot bad However, my feeling was that it took too long. While you do not want to push too hard, you also don't want to dance around the issue too long. In other words, if you've got somethign to sell me, sell it to me. I think you're on the right track, but perhaps need to prune this down a little. Increase the speed of the flow and be a bit more succinct. you are selling a compelling product, after all. I don't know if this is allowed, but here is an article I rote sometime ago on creating effective writing, take a look if you would like: http://www.upublish.info/Article/Writing-Marketing-Material--Increase-Profits-and-Attract-the-Right-Kind-of-Attention/800942
I'm not in your target audience and would never buy your product, so my opinion is worthless to you. But that won't stop me from giving it! Only your target audience can tell you if it's "good" or "bad," and actually, as far as marketing copywriting is concerned, it's more important if it "effective" or "ineffective." "Good" is subjective, "effective" is objective. To get useful opinions from marketing copywriters, we need to know a lot more about the context in which your copy will be read. We need to know as much as possible about your target reader, because at first glance, I can't exactly be sure who that dude is. (Is he some kind of sleazy PUA douche or is he a guy looking to get married to his soulmate? You kind of throw a bone to each camp.) How old is he? How much money does he make? Etc. etc. How does he get to this copy? Did he opt in to an email list? Click on a PPC ad? Organic search (and with what keywords?) etc. etc. Basically what I'm saying is, unless you are very clear and very specific about your target reader and the sales process, it's hard to evaluate your copy. And...if your copywriter didn't ask you all these questions in advance, they're not really a copywriter.