I'm not usually one to post this kind of thread. I usually don't ask for advice on these things. This time I'm just not sure what to do! Let me explain the situation, I'm an American living in Shanghai. I've been going out with a girl named Yvonne (who is Chinese) for a year now. The relationship was serious, she should have been moving in very soon, I've met her entire family (multiple times) which is a big deal in China. My whole family knows her too we were going back to visit my home town together in febuary. Anyhow I recently broke up with her and the main reason was that I didn't feel like I could trust her. Around 3 months ago she went on a business trip to Thailand. When she came back she told me that she had gotten drunk at a bar, and made out with a guy. This wasn't a single kiss it was full making out. Now for those of you who say she was drunk so it doesn't count.. think about it, you can control yourself at least to the point of refusing to actively make out with somebody. Anyhow after around a week of dealing with it I took her back. But ever since then I've had a nagging feeling every time she gets a call. Or sends a text message. I worry that shes.. you know cheating on me. So I broke up with her a week before last friday. I just don't feel like i can trust her anymore. She has also lied to me about several minor things in the last month. During the breakup she told me that she had just made up that she cheated on me. She says that she did that to see if i really cared about her or not. Whatever happens I really love this girl, like in all those songs.
Honestly... let her go. I've been in that same situation and trust me. If she can do it once she can do it again. And secondly you'll have that "worrying feeling" with every call, sms, night out etc. It's not worth it. I know that it is hard breaking up and you feel like your world is falling apart but there are plenty of fish in the sea and a lot of them can be trusted Happy hunting.
Klown, you say that she is not trustworthy but in this story of yours, you said that she is the one who told you about that incident where she "When she came back she told me that she had gotten drunk at a bar, and made out with a guy. This wasn't a single kiss it was full making out" so its means she didnt lied to you because she loves you too and that why dont want to lie to you, otherwise if she never told you about this how come you come to know all about this, so what I can advice you that just relax a bit and give yourself some time and then feel what you feel for her and if you still love her then my friend dont leave her as real love comes very rarely in life so dont let it go like that.
I would not take her back even if I loved her. little lies, cheating, making up about cheating ??? wtf ? get rid of her ..... after time you will sleep better...let her screw someone else and there are I am sure tons of good and nice looking chinese women out there !
Hei,most girls are like that,they like to test a guy's patience,because she has to spend her whole life with you.just like you need warranty when buying things. Useful?
Hi klown - Paul Simon said it better than me: Just slip out the back, jack Make a new plan, stan You dont need to be coy, roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, gus You dont need to discuss much Just drop off the key, lee And get yourself free
At least she told you... Now, was that because she felt guilty, because she wanted you to dump her or because she really loves you and she is ashamed of what she did?. Relationships are too complex to give an opinion on what you have to do but in all cases one have to think well before making any choice regarding one's future.
Being a woman I honestly would say don't do it. She sounds kind of shady. Ok, yes, she proactively told you - however, if she just told you to get a rise out of you...why?? Attention seeking? Psychological issues? Testing or pushing the limits is one thing but head games are another. Plus if she did cheat she'll do it again. That line gets crossed you just don't go back. Period. Trust is everything and it sounds like that's gone (or at the very least severly compromised), we all know that doesn't just magically go away one day. If you truly love her and can forgive and forget it all, go for it. But just from asking the question on here it sounds to me like you're not sure and likely you will never be. If a relationship is so serious there and meeting her folks is so huge, why jepordize that for a quick petting session at some bar? Something just doesn't jive man. Sorry.
If you threw a pizza away because it was crap, would you go rooting through the bin a week later to see if had improved? There's your answer
If you have to worry every time she sends a text message, answers the phone, or worry when she is not around, then let her go. what's the point.
It doesn't matter whether she was drunk or not -- the fact of the matter was that she cheated on you. There's nothing to say she wouldn't have done the very same thing if she was sober. Ordinarly, depending on individual circumstances I'd advocate giving the woman another chance. However, from the way you make it sound you are CONSTANTLY worrying about who she's talking to and where she's going. You're ruining your chance at true happiness by staying with this woman. If you truly love her, then you need to let her go and give yourself time to heal and move on. Lies, cheating and constant worry does not a relationship make. Ultimately however, whatever advice you receive can only go so far. Go with your gut instinct, and do what you have to do.
even if she didn't cheat on you, a girl who said she did just to test you isn't the girl for you, mate.
Well from my pov she actually might not have done it. Girls do it all the time. They do it to test you and get more attention. You might give her another chance. talk to her and make things clear.
No, girls do not "do it all the time." I've never played a single head game with any of the men I've dated. That's just stupid.
Well if your love is true then you will take her back and if not you will eventually forget about her