OK, so about 5 hours ago my dad completely beat the heck out of my car -- by means of sledge hammer and a short piece of heavy pipe. www.sholiz.com/car_damage/ I am filing a police report on the incident tomorrow, and I am going to attempt to get emancipated due to this incident showing parental negligence, unsafe living conditions. I have a witness to the situation, and if you want the full story you can read my homepage at www.sholiz.com Now, what I'm wondering ... should I pursue a lawyer to help me with this emancipation and presenting my case? Or should I try to represent myself? I'm not exactally made of money -- 17 years old, and I'm in need of leaving that house because it's making me as unstable as my dad was. I have prepared the forms for emancipation tonight ready to present to the juvenile court's tomorrow. I'm just wondering if I should get a laywer before going that far. Mind you, my car has approx. $2,000 worth of damage to it in windows, body repair, and it's probally not even worth that much and would be considered totaled-out I imagine. I have no intentions of making my dad sit in jail over this (being it would be felony vandalism) but I want to get out of their house. It's just not the right enviornment for me, and it's sending me down the wrong road being involved in it every day. Any advice?
Apologize to dad seem like the correct thing to do... anything else - you'll regret it (some day). We were all 17 once and it "always seems bad"... it only seems that way.
So his father wrecks his car and he should apologize? "Sorry it wasn't a Lamborghini Dad, it would have been much more fun wouldn't it?!". I know nothing about it but if you file a police report with witness, that should be enough evidence to support you should get removed form that house. Looks like your dad is a health liability to you. If you didn't provoke him doing that, lawful punishment in whatever form it may come will probably actually help him.
Sholiz, are you financially well off to be on your own??? From you blog If you really aren't that, then punishment for a while might help you dad. But just think whether you were in anyway responsible for creating the circumstances that might have led to this????
Don't apologize, go give him a silent hug. Show him that you forgive him instead of scare of his violence. A man who can do this to his own son seriously need some love
A $100 car where dad put $200's into parts... and dad unstable??? ...what's dad's story? Most 'stories' here get laid out fairly good... this one starts "after-the-fact"... which leads me to believe "alot has been omitted"... which is IMHO unfair then to ask for advice since the facts seem a tad bias... so an apology sounds about right.
Sorry to ask the obvious, but what were the events leading up to your dad wrecking your car? Relationships with parents are important, you'll realise later in life. But your Dad seems pretty unstable. If this was a one off and there were mitigating factors then I guess you two should try and sort things out between yourselves, try come counselling and it sounds like your Dad needs some anger management. If this is a regular thing then you probably need to get some space between the two of you.
If i were you, i would go and buy a shotgun. Next time your dad is wrecking your car, you take the shotgun and kill him. After that you feel much better! No reason to get police involved, its a family matter so deal with it! Sir. Uuno Turhapuro
i have been there. trust me. honestly if you cant afford to be on your own then its not worth doing. just suck it up and be a bigger man. give him fake respect just appease whatever. as soon as you have the means (maybe in a few years) then you can decide rationally whether you want to break all ties. i had a very bad relationship with my parents since i was a kid. there were time when i wanted to do incredibly stupid things just out of pure anger or fear or vengenace. we live in a world where parents can get away with alot of injustice i suppose. honestly you're a very smart guy, i can tell from the way you write. unless there is some serious physical abuse to you personally, i'd say fix your car, lay low, plan for college, work on your websites, gain financial stability and strengthen bond with ppl you do respect, friends etc... dont try to prove yourself yet. plus, its probably much cheaper to fix your car than to get a lawyer
I can't believe some of you are defending his dad. Those types of outbursts are unacceptable no matter the situation. You're dad obviously has some severe emotional issues and I don't mean that jokingly. Millions of people around the world get angry everyday and they don't go on screaming and wrecking rampages. What the hell gives him the right to verbally abuse you and smash your car? You shouldn't feel bad for whatever trouble your dad gets in over this because he's a 'big boy' and he made his bed. You didn't drive him into acting that way, he chose to act that way.
I would talk to your other family before getting the law involved. Once you bring the police/Government into your house it is hard to get them out. If you worry about your safty you should first work on that. Maybe go stay with a family member.
Right now I'm staying with my Grandma. I have the financial security to make it on my own. Events leading up to it (from my dad's side), I had broken my arm and lost my temp job at a grocery store to pay for fixing the car and relied on the internet for my REGULAR bills (cell, internet, etc.). Well he had to buy a few parts, where I had bought approx. $200 in parts into the car. The morning I had offered to pay him back every cent when he started barking at me then. I would have too, no questions asked. I don't want to get police involved but I want out of the house, I talked with an officer today and he thinks best idea would be to take him to small claims for 3x value of the repairs. If I did file a report, my dad would be charged with felony vandalism and he dosen't need that. I'm plannig to, and if, I file the small claims suit to just claim the car as totaled -- take my CD player, speakers, etc. -- stuff that can be put on a new ride and deduct that from the value and get a new ride. I just don't know how to even start a convorsation with someone who did that to me ...
Now, reading between the lines; your dad was clearing up the mess you left in the garage and you and your buddy were quietly taking a pop at him but he overheard you calling him an asshole. Or something to that effect? Correct? After failing all of your grades (F) and getting wrapped up in drugs... then losing your job? And still your dad spent $200 on parts for the wreck of a car to get you on the road? Which is when you called him an asshole? Me? I would've beat the shit out of you, not the car. No wonder he lost the plot with you, kid. All he gets from you is a hard time, a shitty attitude and zero gratitude. Stop blaming everyone and everything else for your failures - it's clear from your blog that this is a pervasive attitude with you. You're the one who's responsible - once you learn that fact of life, things will definitely improve for you. If you don't actually come to believe that it's down to you and keep thinking that it's 'everyone else' or the 'system' holding you back you will always be outside looking in.
mcfox, his dad was the one saying "you fucking asshole...I'll show you.." Also, this a grown man speaking to a 17 year old kid. Anyways, I hope things work out for you sholiz.
blazinCrazy, wait till you have kids. Here's how I think it went down - sholiz and his buddy were in the garage fiddling about with the stereo in the car. Sholiz's dad is in there clearing up the mess and stewing because he's coughed up $200 on a heap of a car and hasn't had a word of thanks from his son, only attitude about paying him back. He hears the word 'asshole' being muttered by his son, sholiz, under his breath, who's a trying to be the big-man in front of his friend. Dad loses the plot and vents his pent up rage on the $100 car, figuring he's already paid twice as much for it as his son. That about right, sholiz?
... He was the one calling me the asshole the whole time. The mess? Yes, it's came from 3 weeks of me working on my car fixing tons of things, breaking my arm, him doing a few things till I could work again, with me earlier that morning offering to pay him back and the nights he did help me thanked him? You come to so many assumptions it's ridicilous. I've got much respect for my dad as he's been working out of town for years, and he can fix almost anything. For the record I never called him an asshole, he started ripping into me, I said see-ya later I'm not going to listen to this, we walked out, he started cursing saying if I think I can sometimes be an asshole, he'd show me a real asshole (after never saying I thought I/he was) and proceeding to cause $2750 worth of damage (appraised) to my car. It's one thing to lose your temper ... but to beat the hell out of something that's someone elses?
I would have to say what you dad did was wrong. BUT, I also have a 17 yo who can get my blood boiling and I swear it is on purpose - but that doesn't matter since everything (I mean everything) is about him and what he wants, etc.. If something doesn't go his way it is whine, throw a fit, yell & scream, say "I'm going to shoot myself in the face" (like all good emo kids do LOL) bangs everything to make noise, etc... He will make sure everyone in the house is effected if it doesn't go his way - just like my 2 year old does. (I have to add that in the last few months he is maturing in many ways and He is getting easier to live with) So, I am not excusing what your dad did, but I am sure there is something else going on here. If you need to leave for your safety - do it now, don't wait. If your dad has a history of violence, don't excuse it - get him help. I hope what I wrote helps. Please take it in the spirit I am writing it in. I was also 17 once and I hated my dad growing up. (he was actually abusive when I was younger and he had alcohol issues. Thank God that changed!)
Many years ago I took my son's skidoo into the garden and torched it... Many people (based only on that would make claims about my stability and what an asshole I was to do that to my son's property). Unfortunately, when you get together with a bunch of your friends drinking and go joy riding drunk, and one of your friends ends up being paralyzed from the neck down for life, and the family sues (not the boy... but dad for negligence) - torching a skidoo was the least of my worries. Without the "fine print" the... "dad torched my skidoo for no reason and I got witnesses, tons of photos, and you can read the whole story here [link] that really isn't the "whole story"... The "so many assumptions" may be inacurrate... but building an online "case archive" for the benefit of getting advice from people that only have the facts as you spin them ... suggests something is wrong with this picture. You have evidence, witnesses, opportunity, and a motive... consult an attorney and sue your dad for all he's worth... just be clear - I'm sure his attorney will paint a different picture than what is here... NOTE: assuming you are not sharing the facts as they occur - this thread and your blog can refute your credibility.