True - I guess what I meant to say is that if you register a domain name and then someone publishes a book with a similar name, assuming you don't start using it in bad faith (and in the thread in question, the website is unrelated to the book) then you should be protected against a TM infringement lawsuit.
The original site was unrelated, however, it appears the owner set up a page about her book and then wrote to ask permission. I think that is what caused the reaction he got. "I set the page and sent the author a mail asking if this was ok."
Hell yes! That is a silly question if I ever heard one. If their name is trademarked they will eat you alive. If it is not, they will badger you to death. Ask yourself this question... "What would Jesus do?" Nevermind. You get my drift I guess.