hi, i am planning to offer copywriting services. I have just written a sample on which i would like reviews and comment of experienced copywriters. The sample is about an online resume writing service writearesume. I would like comments on on my writing style, how can i improve, and any other suggestions. This is the link where i've uploaded the rtf file http://rapidshare.com/files/277323060/copyrich.rtf.html plz read n review.
You gotta watch out for the typos and missing words. Copy's gotta be as clean as possible. I'd also recommend learning about punctuation a bit more-I've seen at least one comma missing where it should have gone, and an apostrophe in the wrong kind of place.
I can offer "her" opinion, lol. I have to be completely honest, and I hope that you won't take this offensively because I am simply trying to help you out. From what I've read of your sample, you really need to work harder on understanding complex sentence structures and the functions of certain words. Luckily, I'm kind of avoiding doing homework right now, so I'm going to dissect your writing sample. First, let me show you your sample: Now, Let me show you how another writer might go about it: --- Dear valued potential customer, When you apply for your dream job, what will create the best first impression? Is it the way you dress? The way you talk? You might even be thinking about the way you carry yourself...and while these are important elements to consider, they honestly aren't the most critical! No, what is most important to your prospective employer is your resume[/b, which enters the room long before you do. What impression is your resume making? Your resume is your own personal sales copy, detailing your skills and services. Even if you're the most talented individual in the world, a poorly built resume will be the death of your interview. Even though creating a resume is of the utmost importance to those looking for real, sustainable jobs, monsterjobs.com - a leading job connection website - screens over 45% of recieved resumes! Why? Because they are poorly drafted, and even contain easily avoidable mistakes. Wouldn't you like to have a bulletproof resume? Let us build you one. WWW.CREATEARESUME.COM was founded in 2004 with a team of five expert writers who are dying to create your customized and professional resume. We know the importance of a great resume, and because of that, we will assign a writer to you who will guide you step by step through the resume writing process. We enhance and professionally present your information and cater to your specific needs, educational qualifications, and work experience. There's more! We even maintain a database of client resumes and forward them directly to organizations looking for employees like you!. Our professional service has helped over 4000 people in creating their working resumes. Just listen to what our clients have to say: (testimonials) What are you waiting for? You can hire our excellent services and start your future career at just 30$/resume, including a cover letter. Remember, we will also forward your resume to over 800 organizations...FREE OF CHARGE!!! So what are you waiting for? Reach us now at: www.createaresume.com and experience our professional service One last thing! A special discount is available for first 30 people who contact us within next three days...Hurry and apply now! --- Hopefully you can learn something from my take on this, and I've gotten in some sales writing practice.
thank you sneakyheathen for showing me how to go about in this trade. This was my first attempt at writing a sales copy. Thanks again for pointing out those mistakes. Thanx to you too, ducati1198, for those encouraging words. I am going to keep trying till I achieve something which is worth selling.
Keep on trying. Read decent copywriting blogs (Copyblogger's the biggest out there), practise your writing as much as possible and cut out the sloppy mistakes. Get into the habit of it. Before you hit "post" on a forum, double check your SPG (spelling, punctuation, grammar). When it's become second nature, you'll pick up on most of your typos. Also, study the differences between your post and Sneakyheathens - there are a few to get your teeth into. On the whole though, you're showing promising signs. Good luck!
That's a great breakdown, Sneakyheatens. I'm still learning about copy myself, and your example looks really interesting to study.
Try to keep your article simple but yet something that captures the imagination of the reader. Proof read your article 2-3 times before you submit it! People hate articles that have a lot of mistakes and people will unfortunately not hire you again.
From the above comments I think you have much to learn about copy writing. Master the basics and have a mentor to critic on your works. Do this before going into business. Getting to the battlefield unprepared is not healthy. You need to be very good to establish your reputation--it is one of the foundations of business. And your skills seen in your works will build your reputation. Learning is a continuous process.
Oh, and one thing that's not been mentioned is this. Learn to roll with the punches. People will chew your work up, spit it back in your face and tell you it tastes like crap. You need to be able to take it without flinching, and act on criticism - constructive or otherwise.
Great to see that Sneakyheathen has taken so much time to help him out. Man, you are lucky that she is making sincere efforts to help you out for no apparent benefit of her own! Edit: I really intend to encourage members to help each other.
I agree... kudos to SneakyHeathen for rewriting the article to point out errors in the OP's copy... +REP left.