I need help as I am allergic to anything remotely to deal with code..... wordpress self hosted blogger me.
What kind of help do you need? You need to specify what you want, otherwise its a bit hard for others to figure out what you want.
What do you need to know? Just get your MYSQL database info and put it in, Wordpress' installation is pretty easy. If you have a good web host, it may even be a "one-click install". After that, the wordpress administration panel is pretty straightforward and simple. (you should have a username and password, go to yoursite.com/wp-admin/ to login )