Hello Guys, Please review my new landing page - The Bible Of The Bride All comments are welcome. Thanks
Your desing is fine. If u add some pictures of nice girl with the fine dress of bride than it would be exellent.
I got you covered. Firt of all, it is a standard landing page, nothing overly special, but it is laid out well as far as they go, and the colors are nice. I have to assume the reason that so many people build such long sales pages, is because they want people to read the about the product..... the benefits, the testimonials, etc. To put it plainly, your copy (English) is not good, and does not sound professional, or trustworthy. What do I mean ? (I know you are thinking it) Example: Your first sentence : "Discover how tied the knot without even breaking a sweat" Should be: "Discover how to tie the know without breaking a sweat"...I would actually reword it differently like "This well written guide has helped thousands of first time Brides "tie the knot" successfully without breaking a sweat!" "Tie the knot" is a colloquialism. I would be more direct and say "Plan their wedding day" . That is what they want to hear and that is what the product does. Your first point: This guide was recommended to me by my friend who had a very grandiose wedding. I didn’t believe it at first until I tried it myself. All the things that I need to include in my wedding are included in this guide. Instead of shelling out hundreds of dollars for a particular wedding essential, The Bible of the Bride helped me save a lot! It reads like it is written by someone who's first language is not English..you can't fake it with sales copy, if you are unsure, have it proof read or hire someone to rewrite it. All or wedding guests had a great time, and many of them commented on how well-planned and smoothly the day went. All of our wedding guests.... You get the picture. It's not ready for prime time yet, you need to double check your spelling, punctuation, and condense your words. Some phrases and words are very repetitive which combined with the sketchy grammar makes reading it very boring... and people (Especially new brides who are already on edge and want perfection) will not make it past the first paragraph before they back out. Dealing with brides takes a very particular sales pitch....they are nervous, exited, and scared. Everything is a possible disaster, or nightmare to them so any indication of unprofessionalism, and you can hang up the sale....no matter what it is. JMO
Not too fond of the red color for the big text under the header. I would make the text smaller and choose either black or dark blue color. Other than that, it looks great. GL!
Thank you guys, Especially you - hmansfield's. I'll use your suggestion wisely. Can someone recommend on a professional copy writer?
Looks good overall. In IE 6, problem after sentence "HEAVENS! SO MUCH WORK AND LIMITED TIME TO CARE! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE HERE TO SHARE!....in the responsibility." I believe that the "Over 60% off" line and the "Order now" button should be just to the left of the picture; however, it seems to be placed on top of the "Floral Arrangemens" section.
Well, I learned that the art of advertising has One Main Rule: Create a Need, and then fulfill it. You need to create a need. And you can do that by showing what happens when planning is not done with a wedding. e.g. catering gone wrong, (octupus is served?) ... dresses wrong size.... building too small... you get the idea?... you just need to brainstorm some more... Good luck.