True story. Office Humour: After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager: How many days are there in a year? Man: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day? Man: 24 Hours. Manager: How long do u work in a day? Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day. Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours? Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third). Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days? Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days) Manager: Do u come to work on weekends? Man: No sir. Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends? Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days. Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days do u now have? Man: 18 days. Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining? Man: 4 days. Manager: Do u work on Republic Day? Man: No sir! Manager: Do u come to work on Independence Day? Man: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Man: 2 days Sir! Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day? Man: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Man: 1 day sir! Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day? Man: No Sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Man: None Sir! Manager: So what r u claiming? Man: !!!... Moral-NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR= HIGH RISK .
OK guys, if we have some jokes, here goes A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motors or GM) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing. Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale-boosting programs and teamwork posters. The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses. The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India. Sadly, the End. Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages. TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results: TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads and collecting big bonuses...........
Funny, the boss employed a person that did not worked for even a single day. Thanks for sharing. :: ads2help
yeah, nice ones but if you're listening to the boss or the HR representative you shouldn't have any kind of right or benefit
They are both hilarious, I could think of a number of people I'd like to send both of those to. Thanks for the chuckle