My first PHP programe source!!

<?php


    function get_girl($money = 1000) {
		if ($money < 1000)
			return false;
		$beautiful = $money / 1000;
		return $beautiful;
    }

    function make_money($hours = 24) {
		$money = 5 * $hours;
		return $money;
    }

    function go_to_bed() {
		global $beautiful, $girl;
		if (!$beautiful || $beautiful < 1) {
			fuck($girl, 10);
			return;
		}
		else {
			fuck($girl, 60*60*24);
			return;
		}
    }


    $my_money = make_money(24*30*12);
    $girl = get_girl($my_money);

    go_to_bed();
?>

Code (markup):

 

Wait ... do you plan to work for a year before going to sleep, and most importantly before fucking the girl you just worked a solid year to get ??

I'm fucking with you ... well done ...

 

Nice work! Keep up the good... coding

 

where's the function definition for

fuck

Code (markup):

 

function fuck($girl, $seconds) {

  switch($beautiful) {
    case < 1:
      $my_penis = "meatshaft oozing with ghonorrea";
      $her_funhole = "stinky hole where millions of guys have been before";
      $finish = "I'm done, there's the door.  You can wait for your taxi at the sidewalk.  By the way, I forgot my condoms so you should get the morning after pill and ask your doctor about ghonorrea testing in the morning.";
      break;
   default:
      $my_penis = "8\" of pure love'in";
      $her_funhole = "palace of love and magic.";
      $finish = "Ohhh baby!  Lemmie grab a red bull and we can do it again in a few minutes.";
      break;
  }
  while($time = 0, $time < $seconds, $time++) {
    echo "I stick my $my_penis into her $her_funhole.<br />";
    pause(1000);
  }
  echo "SHAZAAAM!!!!!<br /><br />";
  echo "$finish";
}

PHP:

There you go

Possible outputs:

Hot Chick:
I stick my 8" of pure love'in into her palace of love. (60*60*24 times)
SHAZZAM!
Ohhh baby! Lemmie grab a red bull and we can do it again in a few minutes.

Ugly Chick:
I stick my meatshaft oozing with ghonorrea into her stinky hole where millions of guys have been before. (10 times)
SHAZZAM!
I'm done, there's the door. You can wait for your taxi at the sidewalk. By the way, I forgot my condoms so you should get the morning after pill and ask your doctor about ghonorrea testing in the morning.



I could write a way more extensive one for fun, but I should get some real work done today