HIRE ME!!- Old Guy Job application- Got to read

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by beautyinmd, Mar 20, 2008.

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  1. #1
    Make sure to read what he put on the application below the picture!

    [​IMG]

    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas
    They hired him because he was so funny.....

    NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
    will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice Presiden t. But seriously,
    whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
    applying here in the first place

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
    style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
    haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
    post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
    intimate environment .

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS TH A T WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
    TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do
    you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
    winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE? On the job - no!
    On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
    fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
    thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE ....7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.


    ***Old People Rock! ***
     
    beautyinmd, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  2. Algert

    Algert Well-Known Member

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    #2
    ehehe ! nice one, they have really done the right thing. people nowadays are doing everything just to get a simple job...
     
    Algert, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  3. Crazy_Rob

    Crazy_Rob I seen't it!

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    #3
    This has been going around for years. :rolleyes:

    A) It's not real
    B) It's not funny (IMO)
     
    Crazy_Rob, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  4. EGS

    EGS Notable Member

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    #4
    Ditto. :rolleyes:
     
    EGS, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  5. CashinX

    CashinX Active Member

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    #5
    Not funny :/ Its a copy of that 16 year old's application to McDonalds..
     
    CashinX, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  6. wilhb81

    wilhb81 Active Member

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    #6
    Are this for real? I don't even believe that the Wallmart was so stupid to give a job to him...
     
    wilhb81, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  7. MeetHere

    MeetHere Prominent Member

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    #7
    Funny - yes.
    But not real ofcourse.
     
    MeetHere, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  8. EvcRo

    EvcRo Notable Member

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    #8
    Funny application!!!;)
     
    EvcRo, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  9. coderbari

    coderbari Well-Known Member

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    #9
    Yeah it seems real funny,but I think no one could submit this in real life.
     
    coderbari, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  10. hello_welcome

    hello_welcome Well-Known Member

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    #10
    this is only funny & only funny
     
    hello_welcome, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  11. Crazy_Rob

    Crazy_Rob I seen't it!

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    #11
    WTF does that mean?
     
    Crazy_Rob, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  12. GTL

    GTL Banned

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    #12
    I was about to ask the same thing :p
     
    GTL, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  13. Proximity

    Proximity Banned

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    #13
    I have already seen this before its funny
     
    Proximity, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  14. etali

    etali Well-Known Member

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    #14
    Seen it before, but I think it's funny, but I like bitter cynics :)
     
    etali, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  15. clinton

    clinton Well-Known Member

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    #15
    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL funny
     
    clinton, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  16. mybluehair

    mybluehair Peon

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    #16
    haha, this was the best!
     
    mybluehair, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  17. kaung

    kaung Twitter @KaungKo

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    #17
    I concurr.

    The posts seem as though "scripted" by a kid
     
    kaung, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  18. FFTEX

    FFTEX Peon

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    #18
    Ain't real but it's still amusing.
     
    FFTEX, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  19. Skinny

    Skinny Peon

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    #19
    If it's true it's really hilarious. Older people can have a great sense of humor.

    Skinny
     
    Skinny, Mar 20, 2008 IP
  20. SEOBusiness

    SEOBusiness Well-Known Member

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    #20
    Oh,he is really rock,lol.
     
    SEOBusiness, Mar 20, 2008 IP
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